A recent event on a male-dominated forum has got me thinking. It's not like it was the first time for it to happen so I got to wondering about attitudes that are more common place in our society than we are aware of. The topic was about sharai law and discussion was started about how muslim women are jailed, tortured and even stoned to death for being victims of violence, mostly rape, perpetrated against them. Most comments condemned the actions and went along the lines of: "doesn't have any place in our modern world", "is abhorrent", "glad it doesn't happen here". Replies such as this are dismissive and don't address the real issue, effectively they aren't realistic when one delves a little deeper, and realises these comments provide nothing more than a distraction. One comment in particular, "what about violence perpetrated against men?" was the biggest distraction of all. I question whether a comment such as this is even appropriate in a discussion about violence perpetrated against women - because it isn't appropriate. The acts of violence against men and women are worlds apart. They happen for different reasons and have different consequences. Violence against men deserves it's own discussion thread and should never be used as a distraction to avoid the topic of violence towards women.
As this topic is my passion I wasn't about to let a great opportunity go past by not joining in. Thus I joined in at a level of critical analysis, using some statistics (quantitative study) and peppering it with some experience references (qualitative observations). I did this as another poster (the one who became insulting, no less) had rightly observed that both types of information gives a more complete picture. For my efforts, a return post was full of personal attacks against my character, my thought process, my knowledge, and indeed my worth as a person. Another distraction? It most certainly was. And it succeeded too. Through that one vitriolic post the whole thread got deleted and I never got the chance to really focus in on the topic at hand. Another form of discussion and possible enlightenment for the greater majority to fully realise the extent of violence perpetrated in our society gone and swept, once again, under the carpet, or in this case, the deleted cyberspace heaven.
As this experience replicated an earlier one on a different blog some months prior, I wonder about a prevailing attitude that is a common thread throughout our male-folk thought processes, but women's as well (although I am yet to experience the same vitriol through a female person). I have concluded it is one of not really wanting to acknowledge the extent to which wives, sisters, mothers and particularly daughters, are at risk of being violated in our so-called civilised western society. The prevailing attitude is that things like terrible rapes, beatings, burnings, beheadings (such as what has recently happened to a muslim woman in the US by her husband) and child-murders and pedophilia are things that happen in other countries, miles away.
But it's just not true, it's not worlds away, it's in our own society, the only difference is that we victim blame the woman for her suffering in silence, the only difference with sharia law to our own laws is it's legal to be a pedophile, or sexual offender and here it's not. But exactly how effective is that law?
The point that I really wanted to make in the thread that got deleted, and that nobody got to read is that rape crimes have convictions as low as 1.5%, and that is only on reported rapes. According to the Australian Feminist Law Journal, 2007, of an estimated 5,200 rapes in SA in 2003, only 12 of 786 reported were convicted as charged. That's a miserable low conviction rate, and an indication that crimes of this nature occur with impunity in our own society.
A comment in a recent report issued by the ABS, states, "the level of risk of women being victimised by sexual assault as they go about their daily activities in our society is on par with sexual assaults on men in jail". This says it all and the action of deleting a topic thread, supposedly to stop personal attacks on the person who delivers this information has only served the purpose of sweeping the issue aside and has successfully supported the poster who used insults to distract from the topic and thereby dismissing the fact that "it does happen here."
QotD: “She can show the wounds she has suffered and the wounds she has
caused — but she can’t fully acknowledge what they mean”
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Roden Winter tells the story of her childhood self and alludes to its
parallels with her current situation. But she also seems not to acknowledge
the full ...
7 months ago
2 comments:
Hi Shivers, I have just noticed your Blog at the bottom of your posts and with time on my hands I decided to post.
Shivers, you raise valid points in your post. My interruption of the theme of your post was the unending violence by men against females. You have identified your target well, but you offer no solutions. Maybe some of the inadequate replies posted on the Bottle forum reflected the posters sense of helplessness when confronted with this worldwide problem. Of cause Tim was out of order, but I think you responded well.
As we know the post was deleted and you didn’t get a chance to say the following.......” The point that I really wanted to make in the thread that got deleted, and that nobody got to read is that rape crimes have convictions as low as 1.5%, and that is only on reported rapes. According to the Australian Feminist Law Journal, 2007, of an estimated 5,200 rapes in SA in 2003, only 12 of 786 reported were convicted as charged. That's a miserable low conviction rate, and an indication that crimes of this nature occur with impunity in our own society”
Shiver, this below was a big call and I feel it didn’t help you get your point across.
“That's a miserable low conviction rate, and an indication that crimes of this nature occur with impunity in our own society”
To balance any future posts you might like to add this Canadian sample of 141 infants killed by a natural parent, 62% of them were killed by their genetic mothers. There have been similar studies in the U.K. that come up with a similar figure. Naturally these figures would be a lot higher if you took into account the killing of infant girls plaguing China and other underdeveloped countries.
Let me end on a positive note. Your approach towards men on the Forum with your “passion subject” appears not to be yielding results. You are an intelligent person and will have to change tact to get your message across.I found the book "Why Don't People Listen" by Hugh Mackay a big help in my communication.
Shivers, what do you think you might do yourself to ease this pain and humiliation women suffer? Words will not be enough.Please be gentle with me ,that is,if you reply.
Cheers Richard
Hi Alien, thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog.
I'll address the Canadian research study first. When infants, under 12 months of age, are killed, sometimes as much as 90% of the perpetrators will be their biological mother (depending on which report, year of study, or developed country). This statistic is valid and has it's uses in certain areas, such as what is happening in the dynamics of mothers and infants under 12 months of age, and has gone some way into research of post natal depression and how fatal it can be if unchecked. However, in the context of violence against women and children, this age group is the ONLY category where women rate higher than men. In all other ages of murders of children in a domestic situation, the perpetrator is always male more times than it is female.
Secondly, in regards to yielding results, I'm not sure that was my aim. Should it be? Is it not too much to expect that simply by putting some posts (not creating any of the threads BTW, just responses) in a general talk section of a forum, would actually yield some results? What results? And how would one recognise these results? On a personal level of observation, there have been some results that I have absorbed, such as in a social science observation experiment.
Thirdly, what might I do myself to combat or tackle the pervasiveness of male created violence within our society that is perpetrated against women and children, particularly in the domestic arena? That's a big call, and one that plays on my mind a lot while I undergo my studies. Lord knows there's been highly educated and dedicated people who have trod that road for eons before me, and yet the problem still persists. Knowledge is a big key, the ability to form a definite opinion is also vital, to be able to see the 'bigger picture' and think outside of the square is essential. My goal is to continue and do a PhD, whether I end up working face-to-face with people directly affected, or whether I end up in a more public service role, or with an non-Govt agency, I have yet to decide. But I'll be there in some form or other. Perhaps I'll write a thesis paper or a book that becomes highly respected. All options are open.
Fourthly, I will search out that book you recommend, thank you.
Cheers, Lynn
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